Back in the 90’s I was a white rapper who opened for Rob (Vanilla Ice) Van Winkle, right before he made it big. It all started when I was in High-School, I was physically smaller that most of the other boys my size. So, I was an easy target for bullies, and after getting beat-up I knew that fighting, at least for me, wasn’t the answer. I had to find another way, sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn’t. But I became very creative.

One of my strengths was that I never tried to fit in. Never, and for some reason that annoyed everybody else, I was outside the system and proud to be so. Also I was very stubborn or stupid whichever, so I didn’t care what anybody thought about me.

I would rat out anybody who beat me up. One time I was in the principal’s office. And he looked at me and said, “What do you want me to do?”

Here was a 45, year old man who was asking me a thirteen-year-old, in the eighth grade how to do his job. I told him that he should find another job. And I think my hatred of the school system started then.

One time I was in class and teacher called me up to do a problem on the board. He was in the same row I was and sat behind me, and he slapped me in the back of the head, and very hard, when I sat down. He got later to sharpen a pencil and when he did I grabbed his books and threw them out the window that we sat next too.

The teacher sent me to the office so I grabbed my backpack and left. On the way out, he threatened that he was going to beat me up again, right in front of the teacher. And I said yea but right now your just some asshole looking like a fool in front of the class.

He sent the both of us to the office, and the principal looked at the two of us, and said, look boys, I was young once too, and I know how it is, so just tell me that your horse playing got carried away and I’ll let you go without detention.

He looked at my enemy Matt, and Matt smiled and said, Were sorry for getting carried away, and that you for giving us a break. Matt always sucked up to the adults. Then the principal looked at me, expecting to hear the same.

“No, it wasn’t horse play, he hit me in the back of the head and then threatened to beat me up after school. Now he’s pretending that he didn’t in front of you.”

There a long uncomfortable silence, and then the startled principal could not believe his ears, sent both of us both back to class. Matt first and then me, when I left Matt was waiting for me down the hall. He had a look on his face, like he couldn’t believe what I said.

Why did you say what you said to the Principal, do you want to go to detention?

He didn’t look angry he look confused. Like he didn’t know how to react, and I said.

“Because I hate you, and I wanted to get you in even more trouble even if it meant that I had to suffer the same.

Matt was real tough in front of the other kids but when it was just me and him, not so much, he could still beat me up however because he was bigger and stronger.

Another time in high-school I lit somebody backpack on fire, but I got expelled for that one, I didn’t care, see I discovered that bullies are afraid of people who act crazy. Because crazy people are unpredictable. You don’t know what a crazy person might do so that makes them dangerous. This was way before school shootings, drive-by’s, or metal detectors in school.

When I got kicked out I could not have been happier, it was like I started summer vacation earlier. Until we moved shortly afterward and I had to go to another school (I think I went to a different school almost every year), and the bullshit would start up again.

I did a lot of crazy shit to defend myself against bullies, I guess I was an easy target because I had a knack for bringing out the worst in people. One time some of the other students were throwing pencils at me, and the teacher let them, because she couldn’t control the class. She was a meek woman, and frail, so I guess I could understand that. But I did something stupid like pull the fire alarm because I had enough. Some one said that I was a demon, but I didn’t know exactly why they said it.

Another time, I was in a situation during lunch, and being verbally assaulted by three people for something I never did. They were trying to run me off, but rather than leave I stayed and took them one, not one by one, but all three at the same time (verbally), and not only held my own but was winning.

There was nothing so low I wouldn’t talk about, or make fun of. And I crossed every line. I would call black kids niggers, female students “Cunts” Cops were Pigs, it didn’t matter. Not because I was a racist, but because I was trying to inflict as much pain on them as I could.

Nobody had ever seen or done anything like that before. It was so bad that even people from the crowd joined in to help them, against me. And I was already outnumbered. But I would yell back into the crowd.

The bell rang and everyone left, but as they were leaving someone called me that word again Demon. I watched the crowd dissipate until I was left standing there by myself.

Welcome Back

When I graduated school, I became a teacher because I really wanted to make a difference, but then I realized that I was just as “out of touch” with the current generation, as the teachers were from my generation when I was a student. It’s true we all become our parents. Whether we realize it or not.

Teaching in the inner city where you must start, is not like “Welcome Back Kotter” an if you don’t know what that show is, Google it. I really began to hate teaching, two students in my class started fighting, and I guided them out the door, and locked it behind them. When the principal, Mr Blackman (yes, he was black), called me into his office, he asked me why I didn’t stop the fight?

I told him that I had gotten in the middle before and both students started hitting me instead, so I wasn’t going to do that anymore. I’m a teacher; not a referee.

Not anymore he said, your fired.

You wouldn’t have fired me if I black, you filthy racist, which was true, I played the race card in reverse. And then I got up to leave, he got up too, and a 6’4 and 275 pounds, he looked formidable, even in his fifties.

The next day I was looking thru the employment section and I saw an ad in the paper for an open mic at some run-down shit hole comedy club, and I went down to check it out.

I didn’t know anything about hip-hop, or black music, if you could call hip-hop music then or now, and I didn’t care, I just saw these two-inner city black kids screaming obscenities at each other into a microphone and thought “Hell I can do that.”

“In fact, I was called worse than that every day in my own classroom.”

I studied the hip hop scene and heard the names that every other white rapper was using at the time, Ice this and Ice that, and everything was very generic. But I wanted to do something completely different, genuine, and rapping if you were successful paid a hell of a lot more than teaching. Plus, entertaining wasn’t even a real job, and teaching was.

White Devil

Shortly after as I was trying to compose some lyrics for a song, and the TV was on, it was the verdict on the police who beat Rodney King, they were all innocent, and the inner-city started rioting. And then it hit me; that’s what I could bring to the rap world, hatred. What do black people hate more than slavery? Having a white motherfucker steal their idea, and do it better than they do.

Being a white man would not only give me an edge, but a white rapper who was a racist?

Now that edge would be Razor Sharp.

And “White Devil, was born.

“White Devil” was just a Schick of course, and I did it very tongue-in-cheek, I was never a racist, then or now, I just needed a gimmick, because I didn’t have a voice, I couldn’t sing or play an instrument.

But I was a very, very offensive and a complete smart-ass who could rhythm curse words faster than anyone on the planet, plus I actually had a college degree in English.
So, when I used a lot of $50 words, who actually knew what they were worth.

I actually their meaning, could use them in the right context, and when I wrote them down they were in the structured with proper syntax. Most other rappers couldn’t even say the words, “I wanna Axe you something?”, and I could legitimately humiliate a rapper while still sounding ghetto. I would even ask a mother fucker the definition of the word he just used, and they were stunned because they didn’t know it, and when they tried to define it, they embarrassed themselves.

Like Mike Tyson, in a interview using the word prerogative.

The “White Devil” character was shameful but hilarious, I even created a whole backstory, Apparently, he claimed to be a part of the master race from a foreign land and spoke with a phony German accent that he would frequently forget during his bogus interviews.

But nothing he ever claimed he did could ever be verified and the details were always sketchy at best. White Devil’s controversy started by proclaiming that RAP was created by country folk singer Johnny Cash way back in 1962 with the song “I’ve been everywhere Man,” and that a member of the Sugar Hill Gang (whoever they are), stole the rhyming lyrics from Cash, a poor, southern white boy, and claimed the idea as their own.

White Devil said that the Black Man stole RAP from the White Man, just like everything else, and not the other way around! Just like Chuck Berry stole the creation of Rock and Roll from Elvis. And that’s the real reason Chuck went to prison and had nothing to do with him having sex with an underage white minor, eluding the police between states in a stolen car while drunk and on probation.

White-Devil was equally hostile to Latinos who spoke Spanish, saying that giving the Mexicans a Green-card was like giving them a “License to Steal.” He wasn’t selectively racist mind you, he treated all non-white races with equal contempt.

“I discriminate equally.”
-White Devil

He criticized white races that weren’t German as well:
the Polish were stupid,
the Irish were drunks,
the English had bad teeth because they didn’t brush
the French were annoying.

And then White Devil would bring out “The Mastered Race” a mix of ethnic dancers who had seen the light and now followed him as some kind of cult leader. They were mostly black people in Klansman robes (revealing themselves by taking off the hoods at the end), dancing in unison, with White Devil in the front. White Devil also had a Jewish mixer on the scratch-table, a Puerto-Rica Lawyer, and Body-Guards from Somalia.

Finally, in a strange twist of fate White Devil admitted that he supported tearing down the wall in Berlin, so that the East and West could reunite the German people once again, and he could take his rightful place as the leader of Germany, as he claimed to be the illegitimate great grandson of notorious trouble-maker Adolf Hitler.

He rapped about his struggles of illegitimacy with his hit: Straight Outta Dusseldorf on his
2nd Cd “Dropping Bombs”

As much as he was hated no other rapper white or black or anyone with an IQ below 85 could touch him, He was the best open-mic “freestyle” rapper in the world. And as much as the fans and other rappers hated him, no one could deny his talent.

Apollo Theater

Finally, “White Devil” cemented his place in history when did something, that no other white rapper had ever done before or since while scheduled to appear at the Apollo, in Harlem New York, …. he actually showed up!!!

White Devil came out as the mystery guest dressed like Elvis to perform to a sold-out show and announced that all proceeds were going to be giving to a new foundation he was starting called the N.A.A.A.A or (National Association for the Advancement of African Americans), because personally he thought the word colored people in the N.A.A.C.P was offensive.
After he finished, to as stunned audience, he boasted proudly:

“Sag Nicht White Devil never gave you Nein!”

Which roughly translates to, “Don’t ever say that the White Devil never gave you anything, and go wash your stinky asses.

You could have heard a 40oz break on the floor.

White Devil would hang out with all the other rappers backstage, white and black and he even taught Rob how to play Domino’s because Van Winkle a white kid from the working-class suburbs of Texas was unfamiliar with the game.

Rob didn’t know anything about card games like Spades, or how to make Kool-Aid, because he and his friends were high-school drop-outs who played “Hacky-Sac” instead, which was popular with the white kids in the suburbs.

White Devil and Vanilla Ice got along famously. Rob confided that he always felt bad because he never knew who his real father was, and wished one day his biological father could see him as a success and make him proud. White Devil would always try and make Rob feel better by telling him a true story from his own childhood, which was always worse than whatever Rob had gone thru, for example:
“You wished you knew your Dad, Well I wish I never knew mine, I hated that motherfucker, I even called him by his first name as if he was my step-day, because he could never keep a job, one time he got fired from being a paper-boy. (This was way before Chris Elliot on Stand).

He even made me do the route with him so that everybody thought it my paper-route and that he was helping me out with it, instead of the truth, which was my my dad was a fucking loser piece of shit, thirty-eight-year-old paper-boy.

More fans/haters were coming to see White Devil than the headliner Vanilla Ice himself. The management on the “Ice-Ice Baby” tour soon saw White Devil as a phenomenon, and wanted to cash in quick, so they offered to make him the headliner, which meant cutting everyone else from the tour, including Rob.

White Devil refused. Rob was the one who gave White Devil his “big break” the one who offered him a spot on his tour to begin with, and one time after a gig they both played, Rob even offered to buy him dinner at a Chinese restaurant when he found out that White Devil did have any money to eat with.

“You don’t shit on a man who bought you a Poo-Poo Platter.”

PMS

After White Devil refused to turn on Rob, the promoters, management, and Sales (PMS), from Rob’s label saw White Devil as a threat and they set him up to expose him as a phony in an ambush interview on a Morning Talk-Show.

They blind-sighted him with a surprise guest from the audience, a doctor who specialized in  genetics to confirm that he was not the great grandson of Adolf Hitler, but instead the illegitimate grandson of Canadian Dog-Catcher Adolf Somerset, and some Vietnamese woman who worked as a dental assistant named Ginger Vitus.

Frothing at the mouth White Devil was carried away by four Black Immigration Agents waiting backstage.

Zat is Bullshitz!!!

The crowd instantly started booing and jeering, pointing their thumbs down, and screaming insults as he left the building. With his own people turned against him, White Devil was Blacklisted in the United States, and then deported (when they still did that type of thing), banished forever and never allowed to return again (And he was born in the United States!!!).

Well the rest is history.

So, whatever happened to White Devil?

He still remains a cult hero in Germany, and other Countries Abroad.

Most of “White Devils hits can still be heard on the radio today, in such progressive cities like Berlin, Vienna, and Toledo.
And I hear plans for a movie is in the works to expose the outrageous and as of yet, untold story of the White Devil.

By popular request Here is additional information about White Devil memorabilia.
Below is my Self-Titled Debut “White Devil.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I even had No.1 hit singles outside the United States, “Double-Wide.”

Other Tracks Included are as follows:

Double-wide (Hit)
Does this look infected?
My kinda Bullshit
My Enemies Enemy is an Asshole too
Penis-Envying
Mother-Fucker Please!!!
Tuna-Pooting?
Snitching out the Neighborhood
Name your Firstborn after Me
…that was my twin brother Nitsche

Here’s a sample of my Double-Wide lyrics…

Just cuz I live with my mom’s…
doesn’t mean I’m not the bombs, (bombz)

On the 2nd Cd: Dropping Bombs

 

 

 

 

 

Stinky Panties
Shut Up Bitch
Live by the AK-47; Die by the AK-47
White Power
4th Reich
Were All Adolf’s Children
Straight Outta Dusseldorf (Germany)
Tang: Rich Man’s Kool-Aid
Foreign; not Domestic
Whiter the Cane; Sweeter the Sugar

-Rath

A lot of people think this is a hoax, but it’s not and if you never heard of “White Devil” it’s because you are suffering from the “Mandingo Effect.” The easiest way to explain the “Mandingo Effect” is when you can’t remember the past clearly, because some well endowed black man pistol whipped you with his ding-dong.

Here is a picture of Mandingo and his Ding Dong.

T

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-Rath