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Virgos are their own ideal, but negative Virgo is secretly insecure and therefore cannot tolerate other people’s faults or sins.

Wired for negativity.

Turn your back and Virgo will tell everyone about what you did to them, or about how tacky your clothes are.

This is their way of staying better than everyone else.

Negative Virgo makes enemies almost as a hobby. They call friendly people “condescending” or invent cruel nicknames. Ruled by the planet Mercury, Virgos have whip-smart critical and analytical minds, see through everybody.

Never tell a Virgo your secrets. Even when Virgos selflessly sit by your hospital bed, they are collecting juicy details and are hoping to be written into your will.

Nitpickers and brown-noses, negative Virgos make great secretaries, copy editors, stylists, clerks, and servers. Many like to work around powerful people because it generates good gossip. Negative Virgos are also cheap, wearing sweats and cleaning their little apartments every Saturday, but they lust after luxury cars, and some even buy them. They fancy themselves fashion authorities. The “Ten Worst Dressed Women List” was created by a Virgo (August 29).

Negative Virgo superstars can become so self-conscious and self-critical that they will go into hiding, like Michael Jackson (August 29) or Greta Garbo (Sept. 18).

Almost every list of Virgo traits includes a propensity for addiction (River Phoenix, August 23; Amy Winehouse, Sept. 14; Hank Williams, Sept. 17). All signs can be addicts—but it is extra hard for Virgos, who believe in perfection, to accept it when they are the ones who need to change.

By now, everyone knows Virgos aren’t virgins. The women love sex because it’s all about them and they can talk about it later, but don’t muss their hair or bedspreads.

Sex has to be on Virgo’s terms and preferably on someone else’s turf, so many Virgo men have no problem paying for it, like Hugh Grant (Sept. 9) or Charlie Sheen (Sept. 3). They will also pay a surrogate to have their kids or raise them

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