Cut the Cord

Cut the Cord

 

I used to have cable and they had a tv guide that premiered nothing but garbage on it. It was a single page of electronic scrolling that trailed downward and repeated in a loop. It read something like this:

700 Club

Cooking Channel

Foreign News

Infomercials

Little House on the Prairie

Local News

Walton’s

QVC

Re-runs of The Price is Right 

PPV (Once you landed on these, you could not just leave, it had a automated 3-second pause, that kept you there). I thought something was wrong with my remote. 

And then one day I realized that the cable company had mixed in adult titles with the regular movies so that you could order them on-line too. They tried to be sneaky but the names always gave them away. 

 

Example List:

Anastasia

Belfast

Black Widow

Black Panther

Big Tit Nymphos

Casino

Casablanca 

Citizen Kane

Cock-suckers

King Kong

Star Wars

Crack Whores

Stinky Bitches

Naughty MILFS

Wild and Wet Schoolgirls!!!

and my personal favorite, My mama likes Black-Cock!!!

She does not, I asked her. That was it. I fucking lost it. I was paying for nothing but advertisements: adult porn, infomercials, and shit television that was so bad, I didn’t watch them the first time they ran, and that was over 30 years ago, i.e Magnum P.I, Hart to Hart, Macgyver. 

I cancelled my cable and so should you. And stop going to the movies. Fuck Hollywood. Fuck Net flicks. Learn to steal from your neighbors router. 

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Author: Rath

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